“You are so beautiful … to me” is a song originally performed by Joe Cocker. It is one of my favorite from childhood. I recall watching the Bride of Frankenstein while his hauntingly, soulful rendition played in the background. Even then, I connected the song to self love at its most basic. I also connected it to the idea of beauty and what it really means. 

We have often heard that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This is a common expression for acknowledging the idea of beauty being  subjective and based on social conditioning that forms an individual’s perception and judgement. It is indeed true that beauty is powerful but this does not capture the entire story. Throughout history, our society has based our beauty standards predominantly on European attributes and features. As these beauty standards spread across the globe, diverse cultures were taught to revere this ideal version of beauty even to the point of rejecting their own unique beauty standards. We still see the remnants of this indoctrination in many countries even though we may intellectually understand the subjectivity of beauty standards. We are all as uniquely diverse and beautiful as the stars in the sky, with snowflakes falling effortlessly onto multi-textured wild flowers growing in the most incredible pastures.

Interesting, beauty standards for women of color, particularly those having more melanin in their complexion, have been historically judged more harshly than most in terms of beauty acknowledgment and appreciation. Most recently, however, a sort of sea change has erupted with black women now holding crowns in 5 major beauty pageants. Check them out for yourself … I won’t do all the work. Surprising, maybe a little shocking right? This does not mean that women of different ethnic and racial identities aren’t uniquely beautiful. The very opposite is true and has always been so. It just means that lady fate is now shining her light on women representing beauty diversity ranging in skin tone (latte, honey butter, caramel, mocha etc), hair textures, interests and intelligence. I could not be more proud of them all. Bravo Queens!

Even with this recent accomplishment, there is still an undercurrent problem with how people of color view beauty, themselves, and their women. It is definitely not always favorable. Yes, we all indeed have beauty preferences in terms of what we find attractive but most never question why they find individual traits attractive. A lot of us are still trapped in self-hate, and so many continue to reject themselves or their own women and don’t even know why. But who’s fault will it be – in 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024 etc?

Don’t believe there is a problem???? Do your own research.


Puerto Ricans’ Miss Universe Response Shows Racism Isn’t Just For White People Dec 2019

Queen & Slim’ Actress Jodie Turner-Smith: ‘I Hated My Dark Skin!!’ Dec 2019

Gabrielle Union’s Firing From ‘America’s Got Talent’ Draws Celebrity Condemnation And An Investigation    Dec 2019

Cyn Santana Clarifies Remarks About Black Men Preferring Latina Women Dec 2019

Is Megan Good Bleaching Her Skin  October 2019

Lupita Nyong’o: “Colorism Is The Daughter Of Racism” October 2019

Matter Knowles Says If Beyoncé Was Darker It “Would Have Affected Her Success ” 2019

“Queer Eye Star Tan France Admits To Bleaching His Skin at 10 Years Old!! June 2019

Amara La Negra Wants You To Talk About Colorism 2018 


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