So far on this blogging journey, I have shared some insight on issues related to colorism and self hate – – prevalent in the black community. Whether you agree or disagree, it is worth researching for yourself and perhaps doing a little soul searching, self evaluation, and metacognition to see if anything applies to you. Can spirituality alone cure personal, family, and generational trauma? Following several insightful conversations over the years with family and others, it is apparent to me that many people believe that their core belief in a higher power (spiritual connection) can cure and heal these issues completely. I have observed others and witnessed their challenges and attempts at healing from very difficult circumstances. Many have seemingly healed surface scars but were often changed and permanently damaged from the experience. This outcome is tragically expected and accepted but why is this so?
First, healing is a process. It takes clear intention, time, energy, and effort to release hurts and wounds. The tendency to cover up, hide yo crazy, and move on from past regrets and trauma is much too easy an option. I completely get it (guilty as charged) but this strategy only provides a bandaid in the healing process. It is time to face the person in the mirror and tell the truth about your experience – – confront fear or shame, share pain, and grieve or express raw emotions. The old cliche that “time heals all wounds” is only partially true.
Second, people often miss the lesson of the experience and refuse to take accountability for their part in the issue. As adults, we are all willing participants in the drama of our lives but we don’t necessarily see the familial patterns of disfunction and trauma. Why did you attract this experience into your life? What does it have to teach you about self? If you want to get to the root of the problem, one must look clearly at ALL of it with honesty, compassion, and a desire to understand and learn. For many people, it is far easier to cast the blame entirely on someone else, choosing to remain in a state of victimhood, or play possum and pretend that everything is fine. Yes, there are legitimate victims, particularly crimes against women and innocent children, but we are talking about healing now. If healing is the goal, the approach must be more comprehensive.
Third, spirituality alone will not heal all our past traumas. We have been collectively taught that faith without works means nothing. Divine spirit is most definitely able to change and direct our fate in life but will also require us to do the necessary work. Strategic actions are required often beckoning us to seek help and incorporate healing modalities to advance you in your journey. What do I mean by healing modalities? I am a proponent of incorporating other options such as therapy or counseling, yoga, movement and art therapy, meditation, etc. to help you to understand your core self and to heal many issues that may actually go back to childhood. It can be scary to face your true authentic self as the divine sees you, not the victimized person. You were born with the opportunity to express the best and highest version of you. This magnificent YOU will share where you have been hurt, failed, or not lived up to your best potential if you will only listen to the quiet voice. It will help you to courageously face and forgive your greatest fears, shame and guilt. I personally hate when my authentic self chastises me. She definitely can be brutally honest. Get ready for it – – hard & black, no chaser! Ouch!!@@!%#$@
Why am I talking about all this as it relates to Pretty For A Black Girl? Up until now, I haven’t shared my deeply held spiritual beliefs and connection. There most definitely will always be a place for divine guidance and intervention in our life’s journey but it is time for us, the collective, to own and remove the false identity MASK. I’s healed (or at least I’m better than I used to be). Are you ready to do the same in 2020? Freedom awaits while the authentic YOU waits for an internal alarm to sound saying “My Luv, it is time to remove the mask”.