A Mother’s Lesson On the Art of Giving

There is an art to giving. Everyone will always tell you that to give to another is divine. To give life or to help another in need is an opportunity to show the highest form of love. The exchange can generate enormous emotions as the giver feels positive vibes for doing the act and the receiver feels them as well demonstrating gratitude and appreciation. Both parties benefit, not necessarily in the some way, but there is usually the essence of high vibrational positivity. No matter the emotional exchange there is an ebb and flow of energy to giving and receiving with all parties gaining something of value (again not necessarily the same things.)

For the record, gifts can represent a range of things from money, time, support, kind word, hug, smile, energy or even one’s LIFE etc. No one is necessarily “entitled” to a gift but one hopes to receive this blessing or opportunity. There are also instances where the giver or receiver does not benefit. No one ever publicly mentions the potential dark side of giving and receiving. So, let me explain it.

Photo by Simon Maage on Unsplash

Thanks for the lesson Mom. 
I appreciate everything you gave and even what you could not. 

Gifts are sometimes unexpected, joyous surprises received during celebrations. They are also received during times of need or distress. I personally love when these serendipitous gifts appear almost materializing like magic. They can occur from someone close or even by a complete stranger. It feels awesome but these events are never to be take for granted. At a minimum, the receiver is expected to express thanks and/or gratitude. The receiver can also encounter situations that are not high vibrational in nature. There are instances, for example, when the giver has an ulterior motive or even worse, a codependent or malignant mind set, whereby they keep score or make the receiver feel as if they are owed payment of sort. If one is astute, you can almost feel this type of energy exchange because it won’t feel genuine or you might get triggered by the gift offering. The receiver might feel like they are obligated to pay back the giver with the price tag often not explicitly stated. It’s very manipulative on the part of the giver. These contractual bonds can be hard to negotiate without severing ties or hurting someone’s feelings.

Sometimes the giver’s efforts or contributions are not appreciated or respected by the receiver. No “thank you” is given or even worse, the receiver demonstrates the attitude death blow of “entitlement”. One should not demand accolades or appreciation for a gift but it definitely helps in creating positive relational balance between the giver and the receiver. It is also TrUe that both parties need not provide the exact same things, yet there still should be some degree of energy reciprocity. From my past observations, givers often receive their own special gift back from another source (returning the favor) not necessarily from the receiver. Only young children get a temporary pass on not demonstrating appreciation when receiving a gift because gratefulness is a virtue that has to be taught. As adults, we all learn, at some point, that nothing is free or guaranteed in life. Most learn to be grateful for every opportunity and blessing as they appear. Even the precious gift of life is not for certain.



Photo by Robert Koorenny on Unsplash
Receivers can become “TAKERS” or
“USERS” if appreciation is not
demonstrated. 

This topic of giving and receiving came up following several discussions with a couple of tribe members who have struggled with the fine line of when and with whom one should give. This includes favors and gifts to charitable organizations, family, friends etc. My views on this subject are quite simple. One should give because it keeps the chi flowing (energy) by helping others. We are interconnected and interdependent with the very act of giving and receiving being central to what makes us divinely human. What we give is dependent upon one’s ability, within reason, to do so. Givers should not be required to sacrifice their financial or emotional well-being (mind, body and spirit) but must be freely given without unreasonable demands. Givers must also evaluate the receiver’s needs and circumstances in terms of how best to support and value them. One can say “No” to a request or need if the the giver is unable to do so in good conscience or if the gift will not solve the problem. At a minimum, receivers are expected to demonstrate some thankfulness in the process especially since all gifts, no matter how big or small, have some value. Hopefully, the end goal will allow the giver to demonstrate love in action and help the receiver without making them feel obligated or codependent on the giver. 

This all may sound so simple and obvious but when it comes to giving and receiving, there are hidden behaviors, nuances and triggers associated with the very act (low vibrational energy – – EGO, PRIDE, SELFISHNESS, MANIPULATION, etc.) along with the highest vibrational states of giving (LOVE,  KINDNESS,  and COMPASSION). As we may all lovingly reflect this Mother’s Day, I felt compelled to write about the opportunities and perils of this energy exchange, sharing a little bit of the lesson my mother taught me. Both acts (giving and receiving) provide us with the chance to demonstrate our full humanity. This energetic force is a divine gift that should be freely given as a means of expressing real, authentic love. One should also understand that gifts can be declined as well (tough love). TrUthfully, we are like other life forms in nature – – sharing, collaborating, providing, and denying – – within our species and collective tribal groups. We also have a consciousness to be“grateful” for whatever we are given and to coexist together in harmony – – united in perfect balance – – on this planet we currently call home.  

Photo by Ivan Di on Unsplash
Happy Mother’s  Day

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