Saturn Returns

Welcome back Tribe! Something interesting was said in July 2020 making it an emotional month for me. I took a self care break from posting exhausted by the coronavirus coverage (COVID-19 or simply “Rona”). During this time, I was stripped clean – – tabula rosa  – –  enduring a sort of spiritual surgery – –  with no anesthetic. Ouch! It hurt like hell. This soul trans-form-ation “unveiled” my hidden vulnerability even from my own consciousness. In other words … Life happened and I cried a lot. Sometimes these watershed moments occurred after an intense debate with a tribe member or watching too much propaganda TV. I cried following several accidental falls ending with me being physically hurt. I cried after receiving a call indicating an abnormal mammogram (you’re hearing it now but I told no one). I even cried for no apparent reason at all.

Photo by Stephen Isaiah on Unsplash

No broken bones . . . just another opportunity to cry and release 
sadness. Reminded me of the many times I’ve fallen physically, 
mentally and spiritually since childhood.

I wondered why this was all happening approaching the threshold of self pity. I even had the audacity to complain about my bruised/scratched arm after a bicycle accident to a man with half an arm missing. Unbelievable right? He showed genuine concern and compassion for this minor ailment. Was I being selfish? Self absorbed? Narcissistic??? Perhaps, I was guilty a little (assuming the persona of a self centered beautiful child) but remember a true adult narcissist would never admit their own imperfections, sadness, selfishness, fuckery and flaws. With my full humanity on display, however, I gained self awareness and clarity via the lessons imbedded in each experience. Yes – – I am indeed “hard and black no chaser” but I am also “soft and pink” – – a loving human who cares for herself and feels very deeply for others.

Self-pity and bruises had me feeling a little like 
Beatrix “The Bride” Kiddo (codename: Black 
Mamba) from the movie Kill Bill. 

Life is not perfect. Achieving the “good life” ain’t easy or fair even before COVID-19. Life happens to all of us in one fashion or another. I didn’t have the actual “Rona” but a kind of mental virus had taken over. Thinking about a master plan for the “Rona” and its side effects – – high unemployment, food banks being stretched to the limit, children’s safety being minimized as schools contemplate opening, violent protests and police interactions etc.  – – led me down a internal path of “unveiling” and clearing away sadness within my own heart. We, the people, are not necessarily entitled to a life without challenges but watching human suffering and daily political “fuckery” can be too much to bear. Religious leaders talk about having divine  “favor” which is a very real thing. It can happen when one receives unexplainable protection and bliss without obvious effort. But maintaining one’s balance and appreciating your blessings within a struggle or chaotic world can be difficult – – even for me. The opportunity to release my inner sadness provided healing of sorts freeing me once gain to redefine who I am and my life purpose.

Thank you DH, PJ, PH, SK and one-armed man.  You questioned and mirrored my “fuckery”  forcing me back into reality with tough love.

I’ve experienced incredible opportunities in my life that seemed to happen unexpectedly. During these times, my EGO roared with pride and a kind of invincibility. Pride is an interesting thing, however. It can make one think you’re “special,” entitled and above reproach deserving only the best (no problems). But in reality – – TrUth – – we all put our pants on one leg at a time. Life still happens along with its challenges. We are still human – – flawed and fabulous – – experiencing our own personal Job moments (the Biblical character who loses everything after being tested by Satan) where we can question our experiences and why we are having them. 

Stay humble lil B!tch,” said Saturn.

So here are a few lessons that I’ve relearned once again:

  • Whether life is good or bad (just lessons so judgement isn’t required), appreciate every single moment. 
  • Stay grateful because things could change within a blink of an eye. It doesn’t mean one has to live in fear …. just never forget things could be different. Is your glass half empty or half full? Perspective matters immensely.
  • You’ll find out  who your real friends are when things are challenging. When things are great, everybody loves you. “I appreciate you, man” some will say. Those who truly care will tell you the hard&black truth – – tough love to help steer you back towards the light.
  • The whole pride cometh before a fall sh!t is TrUe. Just watch any celebrity in the spot light – – one minute hot and the next not so much.  This is a real experience for us ordinary humans too only our fall from grace and the public sphere of influence is smaller.
  • So what is the secret? I recognize the mystery of life. I can’t tell you what to think but I know my life is seemingly spiritually governed, in part, by some energy – –  a divine force – – that can propel me forward even when I don’t deserve it. Those who know me well can attest to this. Therefore I can’t take all the credit for my life experiences in their entirety. I am co-creating with the universe – – a divine partnership (Isaiah 41:10). When its time to move or stop, I do what I’m told guided by my INNER-knowing (unless I second guess which generally leads to absolute regret.)

Welcome to NU beginnings …..

Photo by Benjamin Patin on Unsplash

Just like a mustard seedling emerging from the ground, I rise a new (NU).

So welcome back to 3ACTunveiled – – your favorite online blogging source (ok … maybe not trUe yet but I claim it). While I do not represent one of your traditional media sources like CNN, MSNBC or Fox news, I am a blogger willing to offer unique opinions, perspectives and musings on some societal events and the human condition leading to spiritual growth and evolution. My goal is to share my opinions and thoughts responsibly being balanced, direct and with honorable intentions. 

In August, I will explore circumstances, issues and challenges leading one to NU beginnings (exploring the lessons of Job like experiences, the idea of word curses, authentic, healthy self esteem, etc.) and any other subject that peaks my interest or resonates for me. At this point, I must issue a general warning that the usage of profanity will appear more frequently this month for affect. Like a teenager breaking free from parental tutelage (or a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis after the major trans-form-ation), I am testing some boundaries feeling rebellious with a desire to challenge the status quo. This is the vibe I’m feeling right now as a NU thing is being done within my soul. Will you take a journey with me singing hallelujah feeling the vibes but with a grimme twist?

Special thanks to my Pai Mei spiritual masters.
You resonate with me. You inspire me.

Update 8-5-20: It appears I’m not the only one experiencing the Saturn Return. Check out the interview with former first lady, MO, friend in my head.

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