In this section of my blog, I generally post entries encouraging authenticity and unapologetic self love. It is not easy being unique or different for anyone especially young girls. As a child, I was the weird, nerdy black girl with “good hair” as my southern family liked to reference. WTF if good hair? This statement is unbelievable to me in 2020 but it was normal back then for blacks to negate their own features and hair texture. They would often unconsciously program or indoctrinate their children to hate who and what they were. This false, identity programming was not just confined to America. It actually expanded globally becoming a world wide pandemic of racist ideology. Today, this “unconscious” way of thinking is changing at a more rapid pace.
So how did my awakening from the familial programming begin? It was very slow at first but seeing black fashion models like Donyale Luna, Iman Abdulmajid, Beverly Johnson, Karen Alexander B. Smith, Wanakee, Waris Dirie, Beverly Peele, Kara Young, Veronica Webb, Naomi Campbell and others was a source of inspiration and aspiration. They looked like me which made all the difference in the world. I would rush to spend my hard earned money in high school buying fashion magazines (Vogue, Ebony, Cosmopolitan, Harpers Bazar, Elle etc.) just to get a glimpse of these women. I considered all models inside these pages beautiful regardless of ethnicity but not necessarily myself with the pimples, bow legs and glasses (hard&black trUth). Over time and without familial validation or encouragement, I can remember making the conscious decision to prove my family wrong determined to become the best version of me. This required me to embrace my differences, quirks and flaws as well as to go on the journey for self improvement (not just physical, mental and spiritual but understanding myself at the most fundamental level physiologically). We are all different – – uniquely made in the eyes of the most high – – just like the stars in the sky – – but melanin magic begins at our inception propelling life forward. Since there are no mistakes, we are all equipped with the necessary components physiologically for survival. We are also all born being ENOUGH and worthy of authentic love. Some girls have to learn this fact while others are taught it from the very beginning of life by those who care and nurture them.
So today, I am unapologetically ME – – black, female, bow legged, loving and magical. For one to finally get to the place where you accept all of you – – inside matches the outside plus embracing one’s fuckery and flaws too – – is a place of trUe freedom and celebration.