Opening Eyes to Truths Untold
What word describes the essence of beliefs, assertions, thoughts, sentences or propositions that are said, in everyday discourse, to agree with the facts or to state what is the case – – yet is still illusive and paradoxical – – in nature depending on the specific circumstances, observations and interpretations?
Time Will Unveil TrUth
“Every TrUth has two sides; it is as well to look at both, before we commit ourselves to either.“
Aesop
U Define It
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow —
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand —
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep — while I weep!
O God! Can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?
Written By BY EDGAR ALLAN POE
Several common businesses have been missed the most by people across the globe, both rich and poor, during the coronavirus pandemic (COVID-19). Being forced to “social distance” from the various beauty salons, bars, spas and shops and the skilled labor force of stylists, artists, healers and influencers have made most of us “Au natural” for the most part. In fact, many have not seen their natural hair color since childhood. The beauty services provided are extensive, ranging from hair, nails, eyelashes, weaves, wigs, make-up, massages, manicures, pedicures, tanning, waxing as well as cosmetic procedures for botox, fillers, chemical peels etc. You name it – – you can find someone to do or sell it. Each service makes the promise to have you look and feel FABULOUS (no refunds).
As a somewhat natural girl, I ain’t gonna lie. I miss my waxer. The whole unibrow thing is not a good look on me and plucking isn’t my forte. Even Anderson Cooper, CNN reporter, recently showed a bald spot on the side of his head created while he was trying to clip his own hair. These relatively harmless blunders are all apart of us relearning how to practice the art of self beauty care at home. Our moms and dads used to be our primary groomers, a long time ago, as we were forced to accept the various bowl cuts, blunt bangs, twisted pony tails, and smudged nail polished hands etc. Those were the good old days of simple looks as compared to the Kardashian inspired (beauty influencers), sometimes exaggerated renditions of “self” we see today. For example, I’ve seen some drag queens that looked more feminine than biologically born females. They also had better make-up tips.
“Yo man. I can’t tell you how many people have reached out to see if they can squeeze in a hair cut during the pandemic.
Anonymous Barber
So, as our country begins rolling back restrictions and reopening various businesses (16 states thus far including South Carolina, Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, Texas, Mississippi etc.), lots of women and men are waiting to flock in droves to their favorite businesses to get their beauty “grooves” back. Hopefully, most of these businesses will be viable, along with your favorite stylists and tastemakers after this long shut down of our economy. Since most people would never willingly leave or cheat on their trusted “beauty fixer”, especially since they know your “hidden” qualities and how to bring out your “authentic, natural” beauty, it will be a double blow if they are no longer in business following COVID-19. These workers are just like family to many of us, as we’ve gotten advice, shared our problems and successes through laugher, tears and a fresh hair cut.
Where will you go, first, as America starts to reopen its doors? A lot of humans around the world have lost their lives. There is still no publicly approved vaccine. We also have limited testing capability to identify who may have or had COVID-19. This will not stop some from reaching out to schedule those neglected beauty appointments – – tugging along with them their masks, gloves, and hand sanitizer. Something has been said, most definitely! Science should override our vanity – – right? The old saying that “Beauty Is Pain” will be true, indeed, if we are not careful in how we proceed. Good luck!
Follow the data, look at the science, listen to the health care professionals and use your common sense.”
Atlanta Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms
Responds to Georgia Reopening After COVID-19 Restrictions
I owe someone an apology. I stood by and watched, as my friend was being bullied by a group of jealous girls (gang stalking in today’s terms). Truth be told, my own envy reveled a little in her being talked about in the most unflattering way. You see, this young girl was incredible – – beautiful, confident, witty, fashionable and desired by the opposite sex while my perception of ME, simply didn’t measure up. She also had the audacity to be kind-hearted, friendly and loving . . . oh my! So, I stood there and listened to the hateful gossip and slander, most of which probably wasn’t even true. For a split second afterwards, diminishing her somehow made me feel better.
Interestingly, once I saw Kelly’s face looking radiantly strong walking down the school hallway, all I could feel was shame and guilt. I believe Kelly, at 13 years old, had amazing inner-strength because she grew up receiving unconditional love and validation as a child. This freak of nature would teach me a thing or two about confidence, loyalty and friendship. If a murder has been committed with you at the scene of the crime, and you did nothing to stop it, our system of justice would find most bystanders morally guilty too. My friendship with Kelly ended, not because I wanted it, but because she had too much self-respect to allow anyone near her who would disrespect her personhood – – including a fair-weather friend like me.
On the next day, the very same group of girls made me the object of ridicule and hate, only this time they had a lot more ammunition to use and fire my way. I was the average “pretty for a black girl” at puberty (acne, awkward, oversized coke- bottle glasses, unruly hair, crooked teeth and not so fashionable NERD). I felt like a hot mess! I knew how to handle myself and simply kept walking, pretending not to hear the comments and snickering or see their judgmental, disapproving looks. It still hurt my feelings. I felt a pang of GUILT again, actually it was embarrassment for not sticking up for my friend Kelly. I should have admitted my own insecurities and envy but facing those demons would come later.
The competitive, disloyal, mean-spirited nature of some girls begins very early. Whether the behavior is innately primal or modeled by our mothers, aunts, sisters, neighbors or actresses, we have internalized the belief that there are not enough resources (love, attention, men, money, jobs, beauty, etc) enough for everyone. Therefore, we are constantly sizing each other up to see how we measure. If one doesn’t possess a healthy self-esteem, the emotions of envy and jealousy sometime cause girls and women to act on these feelings. The actions that follow are more often negative (low vibrational) than positive. These same girls grow into womanhood dragging along their rejection, heart ache and pain. Emotional healing is essential before becoming a mother but some never focus on self enough to clear the traumas. These same women even use their children as pawns in their interactions against their spouses and partners. Children should not be misused in any adult issues but many don’t seem to realize that these hateful actions, often triggered by jealousy or envy, are transparent to most men as well.
Also, some women do not know how to resolve conflict in a heathy way that allows for resolution and reconciliation. It requires honesty (admit jealousy or envy) and a willingness to be direct without needing to win at all costs. Beneath it all, one has to be able to confront unhealed past trauma – – hurt and disappointment caused by a variety of circumstances. The distorted feminine energy is born if the internal work is not done.
distorted feminine traits
lying; mean girl behavior (jokes at a friend’s expense and maltreatment); belittling; passive-aggressive; manipulative; joy in others misfortune and failure; non-supportive and discouraging; unapologetic;misleading and capable of sabotage; deceitful and two-faced; shady; controlling and deceptive; phoney and opportunistic; malicious gossip; play games
The TRUTH is that there is no one on this earth just like you, therefore, no one can compete with the best version of you. Not everyone will respect you or see your value but this is not your fault or responsibility. Competition has its legitimate place but when the games continue in our everyday lives, it can become very toxic creating divisions between women.
The TRUTH is a lot of our pettiness comes from a need to be the “most desirable” alpha female in the group. So ladies, this has a lot to do with securing male or female attention. Some women allow individuals who are operating out of their base instincts to make us slander and hurt another woman just for likes or attention. Some even disrespect other women, violating their partnerships, without thinking about the consequences. It gives them an EGO BOOST – – but at what cost? This is not acceptable and it diminishes self-worth.
Tell the TRUTH and shame the kitty!
As a collective, women have to learn to accept and love themselves above anyone else, as well as commit to change or evolve as necessary. This NEW person is not competing with another woman – – unless its healthy, sisterly rivalry or she is a professional athlete! We must put aside catty behavior in order to embrace our divine, authentic self. We are uniquely different and equally equipped to be powerful in our own right. We need to talk directly to one another – – tell the truth to self and let the chips fall where they may. Low vibrational, competitive energy needs to be removed, elevated, and transformed into COLLABORATION and love for the divine feminine – – again, realizing there are enough resources available for everyone. We cannot allow MEN or the media to tell us otherwise. I have believed this with my entire being since my high school lesson at 13 years-old. It may not always look like what you envision, but you have to leave room for its many manifestations. Being a divine woman means being completely responsible and accountable for all of your emotions and actions against self and others. No excuses for bad behavior. Keep toxic energy in check. Manifest your hopes and dreams without hating on another’s success (however one defines it).
Divine Feminine Traits
Honest; Handle their business not the business of others; Ability to stand up for themselves; Integrity; Doesn’t talk out of both sides of their mouth; Set boundaries and respect the boundaries of others; Kind, dependable and loyal – – a true shoulder you can lean on; No games; No malicious gossip; Competes with “SELF” to be their best version of “DIVINE FEMININITY”
It is long over due but today I say to my high school friend, “I’m sorry Kelly.” You deserved better than what was done to you by, both the silly high school girls and me. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. I learned a valuable lesson. One I never forgot. This doesn’t mean that I don’t feel the human emotions of jealousy or envy. I simply choose not to not ACT on them to injure another woman. I learned to recognize my shadow emotions and to go within to deal with my own issues. I struggled with insecurity for a while but fortunately, I had women mentors to model and reinforce the idea of focussing on oneself as opposed to competing with other women (self worth not contingent upon the success or failure of another). This perspective resonated with me and continues to direct my interactions with others. Just as we all may prefer different ice cream flavors, it is still important to remember that not everyone will like you.
It’s also not about being perfect either. There is no such thing as human perfection. We are all flawed with lessons to learn. Those who attack other women out of jealousy or envy are admitting publicly that they have nothing of importance happening in their own life. You wouldn’t be a priority, significant, or a threat to anyone if your value was not clearly on display. So when the green eyed monster rears her ugly head, I can laugh now knowing she has no power. Whatever is for me – – is for me. Life is ripe with opportunities and blessings in abundance (not the same for everyone). It is very easy for me to not only recognize the power and beauty of other women but to celebrate their successes as well. If they WIN, I win vicariously too. It feels inspiring, without taking anything away from my journey. So, don’t you worry about a thang ladies, I’ll be standing on the side to check you out (Bravo Sister), moving through the vibes towards my destiny – – uniquely made just for me.
The term “raising Cain” is a figure of speech (idiom) used to reference a person’s behavior most often being disruptive, rowdy or creating an uproar. Its origins come from the Bible story (Genesis 4) about Cain who was the first murderer, according to scripture, killing his own brother Abel after God accepts his brother’s offerings and not his. It was a deliberate act of jealous rage resulting in Cain being cursed by God.
I first heard this figure of speech when my southern grandmother was referring to the behavior of my late grandfather. He would occasionally drink a beer after a long day at work but she did not like it. Grandma would agitate him for some reason or another (my prying young ears and mind could not discern all the facts) until he finally started mumbling and defending himself. As Grandpa paced the room, black eyes piecing as he cursed, my grandmother would start singing gospel songs. She’d tell him to stop “raising Cain” and leave her alone. These arguments wouldn’t last long because he’d eventually walk away to the front porch or sit outside nursing his beer – – and his head – – still muttering about the encounter. Even back then, I never sided with my Grandma. I always sympathized when someone was being unfairly aggravated feeling an alliance for justice. My Grandpa’s righteous indignation was warranted during those arguments even though I also heard through family lore that they had a early complicated, abusive marriage so perhaps she had reason to get him back – – so to speak.
For one to “raise Cain” in today’s environment is still needed when injustice occurs whenever and wherever we see it. Crimes against humanity are not okay but acts of rebellion and courage (small or big, profound or personal) are still warranted when you hear that small voice of angry conscience.
Do you act or not?
Do you speak or not?
Do you fight or not?
Do you forgive or not?
Do you love or not?
As we lose many courageous voices of conscience, let’s not forget the important role the tragic Cain symbolic figure can play in calling out inequality and injustice. They might appear to be trouble-makers, difficult or unruly at first but beneath it all, there is always a hidden truthful dynamic or flaw we need to investigate, address and change. In fact, these rebels often unveil our hypocrisies and just how complicated relationships can be especially since no one is necessarily, completely innocent. They also remind us that we may not be the final judge.
So, what would Kane do now? He would raise questions and expose inaccuracies to trigger each one of us to look inward and at each other along with our country and world much more thoroughly than we ever did before. Perhaps, we will finally be able to answer the million dollar question, “Am I my brother’s keeper?”
Time will say nothing but I told you so
Time only knows the price we have to pay;
If I could tell you I would let you know.
If we should weep when clowns put on their show,
If we should stumble when musicians play,
Time will say nothing but I told you so.
There are no fortunes to be told, although,
Because I love you more than I can say,
If I could tell you I would let you know.
The winds must come from somewhere when they blow,
There must be reason why the leaves decay;
Time will say nothing but I told you so.
Perhaps the roses really want to grow,
The vision seriously intends to stay;
If I could tell you I would let you know.
Suppose the lions all get up and go,
And the brooks and soldiers run away;
Will Time say nothing but I told you so?
If I could tell you I would let you know.
Written By WH Auden
“You ain’t free,” said one of my mentors as we shared a martini at one of her favorite Manhattan restaurants many years ago. This fabulous dame, call her my Auntie Mame, lived a very rich, eccentric life full of interesting people and experiences across the world including diplomatic stints at the United Nations at one time. Auntie Mame used this expression in the context of reminding me that people do not necessarily have the same experiences and outcomes as others even if similar events happen. She shared many examples where this was quite evident.
In today’s climate, this euphemism still applies as data reports continue showing the death rate of everyday people due to the coronavirus pandemic (COVID-19). This pandemic seems to be a “equal opportunity” virus even though evidence is now showing a disproportionate impact on people of color in many American cities (high death rate). ALL LOSS OF LIFE IS VERY SAD and HEARTBREAKING. Our offerings of condolences to the many grieving families and their loved ones feels inadequate. We are indeed not free as proven by the mandated social distancing and other restrictions changing our everyday actions – – perhaps even long term for the better.
No matter your background (race, gender, age, religious affiliation, atheist etc.), it is also evident that a sea change and awakening is happening through our collective pain and lessons. There are limitations to our freedom as humans with things we cannot manage, control, or bend to our will with a snap of our fingers. It is humbling to accept that you can only do the best you can and change incrementally with the hopes, no guarantee, of getting the opportunity to rebuild on a different foundation.
*
*
Our old feelings of invincibility and superiority are being dismantled person by person as we all experience our collective vulnerability. It would be extremely saddening if once this is over, after all the loss of human life, that we do not permanently recognize what is truly important. Kindness. Compassion. Neighborly Love. No longer should the people who are considered outcasts or down trodden (elderly, poor, infirm, homeless etc.) be looked upon as though they don’t exist because we are now all on a similar playing field. The changes that follow could liberate us from past paradigms (us versus them mentality) towards our own personal and world rebirth.
“This is precisely the time when artists go to work. There is no time for despair, no place for self pity, no need for silence, and no room for fear. We do language. That is how civilizations heal.”
Toni Morrison, Great American Novelist
And the people stayed home. And read books, and listened, and rested, and exercised, and made art, and played games, and learned new ways of being, and were still. And listened more deeply. Some meditated, some prayed, some danced.
Some met their shadows.
And the people began to think differently.
And the people healed. And, in the absence of people living in ignorant, dangerous, mindless, and heartless ways, the earth began to heal.
And when the danger passed, and the people joined together again, they grieved their losses, and made new choices, and dreamed new images, and created new ways to live and heal the earth fully, as they had been healed.
Written By By Kitty O’Meara
Happy Easter
Just once is not enough … so here it is again.
From the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic (COVID-19), my gut intuition told me to to stay calm … this too shall pass, eventually. It’s not that I ever doubted COVID-19’s existence or its impact around the globe. It’s just a quiet thought that, perhaps, there was more to this pandemic story. There seems to be undisclosed information, variables and facts that might help put some things into perspective and would allow a deeper OVER-standing of current events. Yes, I know COVID-19 is uniquely different and quite serious, but I can’t shake the feeling that something more has been said (defying explanation, off-putting, strange) in this situation than we are being told.
Most recently, our politicians, scientists, religious leaders and spiritualists all seem to possess colliding narratives in regard to the pandemic. Just watch any White House briefing to witness the conflicting information provided by the US President versus the facts being shared by the infectious disease scientists and medical experts brought on board to address this world-wide public health crisis. Contradictions also abound, as some religious believers are expressing views that we are in the biblical end times. While some spiritualists are taking the view that maybe COVID-19 is here to provide lessons and change our collective planetary vibration (as above, so below) – – hopefully for the better.
As a free thinker, you might understand my inclination to explore these seemingly opposing view points, resulting in a natural apprehension to not believe everything seen or heard. It is not uncommon for ruling governments and leaders to utilize the chaos theory, incorporating misinformation to carry out hideous agendas to mislead its citizenry. My perspective also comes from spending a good portion of my previous career as a publicist, specializing in crisis communication. Therefore I understand propaganda and DIS-information very well. After all, spin was my specialty and super-power. So, it is in this framework that I am asking lots of questions about our collective experience during the COVID-19 pandemic. My questions are FACT and DATA driven, seen through the filter of my inner-knowing intuition. In order to OVER-stand current events, step-by-step, I would propose that we assess the current public information and follow certain leads to see where they take us, including:
“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
Martin Luther King Jr.
“Those Who Do Not Learn History Are
Doomed To Repeat It.”
George Santayana
As a former publicist, I have been at the table with other executives when data and information was being reviewed during a crisis. Trust me, when I tell you that the COVID-19 situation room is full of strategists and PR fixers, similar to the Olivia Pope character who appeared in the television show Scandal. Their job is to anticipate questions and rumors; refute or repackage outright lies and distortions; and to serve as ghostwriters for leadership outlining the data and public information that supports the agenda or agreements made in private. Some withholding of facts is often necessary for the greater public good, but there are instances when it is done for more self-serving reasons. In order to spin these events, these Olivia Pope types need access to the FACTS, even though they often get misled by leaders and the powers that be, too. Ask any White House press secretary.
I’m sharing all of this to unveil what happens behind the scenes in many high-level meetings, especially when the stakes are great. This same dynamic often happens in relationships between lawyers and clients; hollywood fixers, agents and actors; mob bosses and their crews; Washington lobbyist and politicians; church leadership, congregations and ordinary people. Secrets and lies often dominate our interactions especially during times of trouble. My skepticism should be obvious about some of the COVID-19 information being disseminated, but it does not negate each of us from taking the appropriate preventative actions to protect oneself, family and neighbors. As my tribe of intellectuals and rebels find new info that is not being reported, I, like many others, still reserve the right to think for myself, facing the current situation head on – – both eyes open – – without rose colored glasses.
The only question WE must answer now is whether or not WE will take it all at face value. Before you respond, let me now share that the worst mistakes I’ve ever made in my life have occurred when I ignored my gut instinct or intuition. I did not have proof in every situation, but there was an INNER-knowing that I could not fully explain. My tribe knows that I often act on instinct, along with facts, in making decisions. Many will also admit that the facts, data and proof sometimes follow to substantiate my arguments … sometimes to their dismay. When “something has been said,” I can feel it – – just like countless others with the desire to know!
Today’s blog, on this Good Friday, is not necessarily being written from a pure academic perspective (this is not my expertise). Nor am I a biblical scholar, but I will say that these events are triggering many valid questions and theories within our global community. While it might not be the end of the world, it could be the end of the world as we know it. We must try to continue to live our best lives even under these circumstances, and once this is over, perhaps, take a different approach on how we view the intersection between science, religion, politics, and spirituality. We must give some degree of respect to each one, so that we can create the best global survival plan for humanity and our planet. The fallout from COVID-19 is unclear, but our collective investigation is just beginning to unfold.
Something has been said in this COVID-19 experience. What kind of justice is humanity entitled to following this unbelievable sea change? Will we ever receive all of the FACTS and DATA? Some may still discount the basic human rights of ordinary people to know the absolute truth. Maybe we’ll be indoctrinated to believe it was all a dream sequence similar to a scene from the 2011 hit movie Contagion? I’m not sure how things will be unveiled but as the saying goes, “pride cometh before a cover up.”
Who can change what it is to be me?
The owl, hidden there in a night’s beauty,
a beauty that most don’t even try to see.
I am a deceiver in the shadows
who can show you a different light,
and open your eyes, once closed.
Come nearer. I am not known to bite;
there is nothing here to be afraid of.
Who is just your friend in the night?
In darkness, who will hear my call?
I may be wise for my age at times,
though I never claim to know it all.
My voice is heard; still I go unseen.
Tell me who is magical and mystical,
and yet, all things in between?
Written By Kelly Deschler
3ACTunveiled